my cat is no longer with me

back in Oslo
living with my ex-girlfriend
we used to have a cat
she loved to drink coffee and watch the animal-channel
the cat that is
she would walk next to me wherever i went and would observe
my every move
trying to figure the ways of the human
my ex would complain that i loved that cat
more than i loved her
some days i did

i have this recurring dream
we are walking in the desert
she is right by my side
looking up on me, talking
the cat that is
her light steps, not leaving a trace in the sand
i am filled with peace
but when i wake
i feel utterly sad
her name was Nikita
she is no longer with me
my ex put her to sleep

self-eating heart

every time i've followed my heart
i have left someone, or something, or some place behind
it has taken me to where i am, sure
and i am happy with that
but every time i follow my heart
i seem to lose a part of it
it's like my heart is eating itself
is this healthy, or normal?
i don't know
have i made the right decisions?
it feels right, yet
still it hurts sometimes

nervous tick

my right eye started twitching today
a nervous tick
it has been there all day
but no-one has commented on it
they must have seen it
carrying a conversation is hard
when your eye has a life of it's own
and no-one says a thing
do you notice my nervous tick
i ask?
no,
no they say
and the twitching gets worse

the pink hotel

was walking down Wilcox today
past the pink hotel with the rats, the bums and the cockroaches
it's a nice place
i picture it back in it's heyday
before dreamland woke up to a nightmare
a drunken man is sitting there
in the window on the third floor
yelling at the prostitutes and the punk-kids
sometimes i wish i was just like him
the sad drunkard
like i once was
but i'm happy
by the pink hotel on Wilcox

damn squirrels, damn computer

i'm comfortable now
with the squirrels tiptoeing
on my roof
even tho it is not their roof
they have secrets they can't share
that keeps me awake

it's hard to rest
when even your sleep
robs you of your dreams

the squirrels are dancing
and i wonder what my poems are worth
roughly one kilobyte
says my computer
and i would have to agree with that