pen

the words don't come easy
on this nauseous hungover day
every train of thoughts trails off
into mad nonsense.
maybe if i buy a new pen, i think
perhaps then
these words i write won't look so lost
so naked.
maybe a carbon steel ballpoint pen
with high-grade stainless steel trimmings.
i could engrave my name on it.
with a pen like that, i think
i could write cryptic poetry
that would bewilder the masses.
then i speculate the possibilities
of stabbing myself to death with a pen like that
with my name engraved on it.
possibly if i hit a main artery
in my neck, i think
that could work.
but i can't afford a pen like that.