peephole

every thursday i sit by the pool

all day

i drink beers, and look up at the sky

(sometimes i count helicopters)

people in the building stop by to chat

i don't tell them that i'm constantly bored

that i'm afraid i will die alone

when the sun goes down we're drunk

and i go back into my apartment

they stay outside, drinking

all night

i listen to them talk,

and sometimes i watch through the peephole

every now and then

these three blond girls show up

i'm not sure who they know in the building

they are beautiful and dumb

and they are yapping along in baby-voices

i wanna fuck all of them at the same time,

or at least one of them

but i'm afraid

drunk, and lonely, and bored

afraid

i'm the guy looking through the peephole

the guy counting helicopters

so instead i go to bed

wide awake and ashamed