Miss April

i woke up the other night
in my own vomit
in someone else's bathroom
i didn't recognize the vinyl floor,
the dirty porcelain
and my insides smelled like Jagermeister
(i find myself in these situations
from time to time)
and as i laid there
cursing the my drunken state, i
gazed upon the wall
and there she was
shining in that harsh light
Miss April
like the virgin
but less holy
and there was something i recognized
man, that body!
it got me right back up
on my feet

as i stumbled back out there
into the foreign living room
filled with meaningless chit-chat, by
the strange faces
i looked for my wife
but she saw me first,
tapping me gently on the shoulder
there was something i recognized
"did you see Miss April?", i asked her
she wiped some puke off my face
"i sure did"
"her body looks exactly like yours", i told her
and she knew i wasn't lying
she's my best friend, my wife
like the virgin
but less holy
"let's get you home", she said
and i knew
that i have the best wife in the world
she's even better than
Miss April