on the sideline

woke up
too late again
too late to play
or partake in the whimsical dance
of the day
i have to sit this one out
on the sideline
on the bench
i get food
a box of honey-roasted peanuts
they are sweet- piece by piece
until they're gone
i light cigarette after cigarette
one by one
i'm a passive spectator
i'm a worshiper
as it all moves by
the intricate mechanics
forceful energies
molecules, atoms, x-rays, radio-waves, micro-waves
air filled with sounds we can't hear
the invisible players
all that stuff that will kill us
the honey-roasted peanut box
slowly filled with burnt out butts
physics, mathematics, medicine
nature itself
i sit this one out
ultra-violet, and
unfazed by the obvious
i want to create create create
destroy destroy destroy
i don't want to go to heaven
or hell
this is all, this goes on
day by day
i'm forced to get drunk